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Kenny Dalglish plays it cool


In the 166th episode of NBC’s acclaimed sociological documentary Seinfeld, the New York businessman Mr Kruger is seen struggling with a door that won’t open. “Oh damn, I’ve locked myself out of my office again,” he says. “Oh well. I’m going home.” Such is Kruger’s brazen apathy, even the serially indolent George Costanza is eventually driven to do some hard work, picking up the slack so Kruger Industrial Smoothing doesn’t go belly up.

A managerial masterclass by Kruger in getting the professionally lazy moving, there, and one that hasn’t gone unnoticed at Liverpool, where Kenny Dalglish has, when he’s not draped over a chaise longue, taken to sauntering around the garden whistling and twirling a cane. During the week, his captain Steven Gerrard was struck down by internatiknack while Are Prada Handbags Cheaper In Italy playing for England, and is unlikely to be fit for tomorrow’s game at home to Arsenal. But is Dalglish incandescent with rage over Stuart Pearce’s decision to play him against Holland? No. Taking a leaf from Kruger’s book, he this morning yawned: “I’ve got great respect for Pearcey, he’s a good honest fella, and if I was in charge of England Steven would have been playing for me as well.” Then he went home.

Dalglish, who as we speak has just parred the 13th, has obviously decided his laissez-faire gambit will panic the other bone-idle gets in his squad to finally do something this season, starting with tomorrow’s big match. So if the positive reaction of Costanza at Kruger Industrial Smoothing is anything to go by, expect Charlie Adam or Jordan Henderson or Andy Carroll to step up to the plate and fill Gerrard’s boots by shanking several shots from ludicrous distance deep Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Outlet Online into the stand, then frowning quite a lot.

Of course, Dalglish’s Krugeresque insouciance could be the relaxing result of winning Tin Pot last weekend. That theory stands up when you compare and contrast his languor with Arsene Wenger’s anger. Wenger has been non-stop hopping and shaking his fists impotently ever since Arsenal failed to win Tin Pot this time last year prada bags outlet, after which his players effectively downed tools Kruger style. And unlike Dalglish, he’s been on a rolling boil since the midweek friendlies, with both Thomas Vermaelen and Robin van Persie turning out for their teams despite carrying knack knocks.

“The friendlies are becoming more and more difficult to accept,” Wenger barked today, with particular reference to Vermaelen being “forced” into his 90-minute stint for Belgium in Greece. “It looks like Belgium has made a decision which I still do not understand and we Authentic Prada Handbags For Cheap will Barberino Factory Outlet Prada look to see if we can put a complaint in. That’s frankly not defendable. It is disrespectful to the players as well as me.” For health reasons alone, it’s to be hoped that poor Arsene will calm down a bit at some point, and stop performing this year-long mid-air soft-shoe shuffle accompanied by xylophone trill. If his team win at Anfield tomorrow and put 10 points between themselves and their fellow wannabe Big Cup entrants, maybe he will. Given that this blast of hot heat comes a mere six days after *that* amazing 5-2 win against Spurs, maybe Authentic Prada Fairy Bag For Sale he won’t. Does anyone have a spare copy of Seinfeld season nine we could lend him?


“[The way football is going] makes me think of the NBA – the team with the best attack wins. Teams don’t defend … Barca does it with the best players in the world … but they are doing harm to future generations because not all teams can play like that” – Evian Thonon Gaillard’s manager, Pablo Correa, French football’s answer to Big Sam, utters the footballing equivalent of “Not all kids like healthy food, and in fact Big Macs are cheaper and taste better.”


“Re: Messrs 15% trousering £82m of £1.9bn on international transfers (yesterday’s Fiver). I’m sad to see that the global economic crisis is even affecting agents’ 15% commission. Although I wouldn’t advocate the Fiver rebranding them Messrs 4.316% …” – Will Forbes.

“Trevor Brooking’s quote in yesterday’s Fiver appears to have been cut short. There was no mention of how Authentic Prada Leather Handbags many headers he scored in his career” – Richard Moseley.


Spurs will be receiving their biannual thrashing from the firm hand of Manchester United on Sunday. But which United will be piling on the agony this time? One involving Wayne Rooney, Tom Cleverley and Antonio Valencia, we’ll be bound. Why? Sir Alex Ferguson has insisted that, while Rooney is fit, Cleverley and Valencia are absolutely, categorically, most certainly not. So you see how we’ve worked this out.

The FA won’t appoint Harry Redkna… a permanent successor to Fabio Capello until close to the end of the season. “We’ve got all of our operational plans in place,” said the FA general secretary, Alex Horne, pushing models of England players around a big map of Europe. “We can deliver a squad into Poland so it is perfectly possible.”

Fewer footballers will have the chance to sample the delights of the West Midlands after Birmingham and Coventry (the football clubs, not the cities in general) were placed under temporary transfer embargoes after failing to file their accounts on time.

Sheffield Wednesday have appointed Dave Jones as their new manager. “Promotion is the first ambition and from there is to try and get to the Holy Grail,” he said, starting on a quest which has taken the lives of countless knights errant.

The Norwegian FA has found a novel way to Make Captaincy Matter by only allowing players who wear the armband to talk to referees. “We are working towards a situation where only the captains can confer with referees during the game. Breaches will be punished with a yellow or red card,” barked a Norwegian FA suit, although we can ignore him because Authentic Prada Vitello Daino he wasn’t wearing the captain’s armband.


We’ve already done a Joy of Six: Liverpool v Arsenal matches before, but that didn’t stop Scott Murray accessing his frontal lobe to bring you half a Authentic Prada Shoes Outlet dozen more.

The Fiver is too repressed to do bloke banter, which is just as well, because it’s one of the things you hate most about modern football.

Stand-in managers can influence what goes in the shop window but, as English Stu from England found out against Holland, the goods aren’t always the best quality, warns up-and-coming scribe David Lacey.

Big cake + European papers + tight-fitting Authentic Prada Handbags Outlet Uk shirt + AC Jimbo = this video.

And you may just want to stick Authentic Prada Bags Uk to the news and comment sections of James Dart’s Football Weekender blog, because if you’d followed his bets this season you’d be £20.95 out of pocket.


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